Marriage Success Stories of Couples Who have Overcome Porn Addiction

Pornography and sex addiction are both terrible burdens on a relationship. Trust is broken, feelings of betrayal abound, and it feels like the world is slipping out from under you. There is hope. It is possible for a couple to recover from addiction.

The first step towards healing is to fully acknowledge the problem and any false beliefs. Pornography addiction is a type of obsessive-compulsive cycle. This compulsion is often reinforced by several false beliefs. One false belief is that the addicted member is basically a bad, unworthy person, rather than just someone who has made mistakes. Another is that no one can love the addicted person as they are. It is also common for addicts to believe that their needs will not be met if they have to depend on others, and that sex is their most important need.  Acknowledging these beliefs makes it possible to over come them.

To heal as a couple it is important for each member to make his or her individual healing a priority.  After an addiction comes into the open it normal for both partners to feel conflicted and angry, and for the self-esteem of both partners to decrease initially.  Couples who successfully come away together from this pitfall seek out counseling, and the help of support groups in their area. It might also help to journal, or to seek out written, or audiovisual sources for information. These are powerful available tools that can aid in the process of individual healing.

As a couple focuses on healing individually it is possible to come together and work on rebuilding trust and intimacy in their relationship. Trust will not come easily, and trust is impossible to force from either side of the relationship. Trust in a relationship comes from both parties. The addicted person must show that they are trustworthy and their partner must be willing to trust again.

Regaining trust takes time, and commitment. The addicted partner must show that they are trying to be trustworthy in ways that are meaningful to their spouse. They must be the one that makes the effort to move the computer, or to attend couple’s meetings. They are the ones that must be willing to tell the whole truth. Their Partner must be willing to forgive, and to trust again. Patience is also required from both ends of the relationship.

As trust rebuilds a couple can work on rebuilding the emotional intimacy in their relationship.  Intimacy requires trust and open communication. At times open communication requires a large degree of emotional vulnerability.  A couple must share their concerns and their doubts. It is a mistake to try and force normality by avoiding issues. Avoidance will only increase the degree of emotional distance felt by both parties. To have open communication a couple might have to learn to skills in fostering openness and understanding. “Communication skills such as empathic listening, being respectful, and expressing vulnerability, are essential to both partners’ recovery.”

Sexual addiction can be a terrible blow to a relationship. It possible to come away from addiction as a happy couple but it takes work and understanding. A couple must be willing to trust and be trustworthy again. A couple must also have open communication.

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